The Coping Tool

Families that stick together in moments of crises, can cope easier with the stress.  In class we discussed the idea of a coping tool while putting in crown molding.  The easiest way to put in crown molding is to cut each piece at a 45 degree angle and align them together.  However, this will leave a small gap between the two, and as the room gets hot or cold, the gap will either expand or close.  Imagine the effect this will have on the crown molding over time.  It does not seem like it would last.  The coping tool is used to  accurately cut odd shapes.  It can give a more detailed cut.  If one piece is cut with a coping tool to match up with the other with a little extra on the end, with enough pressure the two pieces can be jammed together leaving hardly a visible gap.  The tightness of the two pieces will hold up much more effectively in any type of temperature.

Now, that's all nice, but what does it have to do with families?  Well it is interesting that the tool used in this process is called a coping tool, as that is what people must do in stressful situations.  They have to learn to "cope."  A family that takes the easy way, like the 45 degree angles, while dealing with a crisis will not hold up as well over time as a family that uses the coping tool during the crisis, to tightly bring their family together.

Let me share an example.  My family has never really had any problems with severe illness, until a few years ago when my father was diagnosed with diabetes.  I am so proud of the changes my dad made in his life to over come these complications, however, I know it was easier for him, because of the support he had from his family.  He had to make some serious changes in the way he was eating and exercising, or he could have had some serious limitations in his health, that could eventually lead to death.  Most families are supportive in this situation, but as a family, we collectively decided to eat the way my father had too.  We threw out sugar and starchy food and my mom prepared the same diabetic meal for everyone.  Another family I knew, would make two meals, one the father would it, and one the rest of the family would eat.  For awhile this worked for them, but eventually it got harder and harder to eat differently then everyone else, until he stopped all together.  This put hin back on a digressing path.  I would say that this family took the easy way out, by putting in their crown molding using 45 degree angles.  It wasn't a bad way for dealing with the situation, but overtime the wear and tear of the environment become too much.  I'm not saying that this family was unsupportive, however the way my family coped with the situation, tightly wedged us together.  Today my father probably could indulge in a little sweet food, but he never does because he does not want to take the risk and he values the effort we all made to change our eating habits for him.

In the October conference in 2005 Elder M. Russell Ballard said, "Crisis or transition of any kind reminds us of what matters most. In the routine of life, we often take our families—our parents and children and siblings—for granted. But in times of danger and need and change, there is no question that what we care about most is our families!" 

In the end, family is what matters most, so tightly bind together!  The support from family will not make crisises or stress go away but it will be so much easier to get through.  No family should take the "easy" way out, because a family should be able to hold up and remain intact in any kind of situation. I love my family so much, and they are worth the extra effort.